Warning! If you have a weak stomach
stop reading right now.
Clan Valley High School has canceled
summer school.
I know, it sounds insane. Right? Half
the summer semester is already over with so canceling summer school
seemed very odd to me. I called around and found out the true reason.
With the influx of gnomes into Clan
Valley the school board insisted all gnomes under the age of eighteen
must attend school. For those of you who don't know, Clan Valley is
primarily a vampire valley. The transition has not been easy for
gnomes or vampires.
Well, the gnomes – generally speaking
they are three-feet tall with wrinkly skin like a Shar Pei and have
brilliant red fuzzy hair that's about an inch long – refused to
comply with the mandate.
Everyone knows gnomes are notorious
pranksters so their response shouldn't have surprised anyone.
Gnomes taped the official mandate to
the school doors, marked 'no' across the paper in bold red ink, and
then flushed a fairy made stink bomb down every commode on school
property.
Mundanes have no clue how bad a fairy
made stink bomb smells.
Honestly, fairies – especially those
from the artist caste – can create just about anything by utilizing
their talent to manipulate synth energy, including changing normal
attributes of certain objects. Today, the object in question was
super glue. What they did was 'scientifically' impossible, but you
must remember we are talking about fairies. They tend to warp
scientific theory out of shape until it's unrecognizable.
The stink bombs were comprised of super
glue, cow manure, rabbit manure, and skrivett pus. (A skrivett is a
pus covered rodent.) The compressed bomb went down the pipes and
exploded, spreading chunks of manure through-out the entire sewage
system. No, it did not dissolve.
When the synth enhanced super glue
touched the interior plastic wall of the pipes, it activated and
expanded, sticking cow manure and pebble sized rabbit pellets
throughout the entire sewer system. The skrivett pus, which smells
like raw sewage in its natural state went everywhere, including the
ceiling of the bathrooms.
I'm sure you can imagine, Principle
Tinklebunn blew a gasket.
Literally, she shrieked until all the
windows in the entire school and surrounding community shattered.
Need I mention she is a fairy of the warrior caste? To be very
specific she is a siren.
Even with so much damage, with the
proper fairy made solvent, it shouldn't take the remainder of the
summer to clean up the mess.
Well, you wouldn't think so, but the
only one who can create a counter chemical to destroy the super glue
is Samuel Nippers, the fairy who created the stink bombs. He is a
Master Class within his caste and has refused to create a solvent
that would disolve the super glue.
I've heard it without the solvent it
will take weeks to dislodge the crap from the sewer system, clean the
skrivett pus off the walls, and replace all of the windows.
