Showing posts with label Clan Valley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clan Valley. Show all posts

Friday, November 23, 2012

Kraken in the Gulf of Mexico


I received confirmation that a pod of kraken has been sighted off the shore of Texas in Clan Valley.
Every official I spoke with said, no comment, so I decided to take a little trip.
After about a ten-hour drive, I arrived at Galveston. I headed straight for the Marina, but there was not a single boat available to rent.
I stuck around the dock area, and sure enough, I started hearing rumors about the kraken.
The pod was less than fifty miles off shore. Estimates ranged from two to six adults and four babies. One kraken is more than enough, but ten! Supposedly, a group of siren (that's a warrior caste fairy) were on their way to take care of the kraken infestation.
I just happened to be sitting behind a pile of boxes, under a tarp, on the fishing vessel, Hard-up Joy, when a group of hard-eyed fairies walked onboard. (I paid the local pixie runner a cool hundred to find out which boat the fairies had hired.)
We had been underway for about ten minutes when the tarp flew up. One of the fairies glared at me.
"Hi, I'm Jodie Cooper, Sídhí news reporter," I greeted him with a cheery smile.
"I know who you are," he commented, with a sour-look on his face. "You're constantly sticking your nose into things that are none of your business. Today might be your last."
"Hey, the public has a right to know if they are in danger. You don't have any right to threaten me."
"Not a threat, a promise." A second fairy walked up behind the first. "If there is more than one kraken, we'll probably be swimming home. We'll make it just fine. You, little mundane reporter, won't make it a mile, much less fifty."
After that, they ignored me, and my questions. Talk about rude!
I made my way to the front of the boat (later, I found-out it's called the bow) in the small cabin that covered the wheel. The guy steering the boat ignored me.
Nearly an hour later, he pointed out the window. "Not so sweet looking are they."
They, he spoke of, were kraken.
The closer we got to the monsters, the more I wondered if I hadn't made a really big mistake. There were two of the huge monsters and a smaller baby. The baby was just old enough to survive in salt water. I'd heard kraken were three stories tall. If momma and daddy had not been swimming, they would have been that tall.
Each, of the black-skinned creatures, had three long necks. The head was a diamond-shaped like a rattler. Its scream threatened to burst my eardrums.
The largest of the three surged forward, snapping at us with all three heads. Really, really large fangs glistened in the sunshine.
We swung near them, just outside of chomping range. Four of the sirens started singing, aiming their voices toward the rubber-skinned monsters. Sirens had many vocal skills, from tear-inducing love songs to bone-shattering shrieks.
The kraken heads began to bob, like a baby fighting sleep.
That's when I realized, the fairies weren't trying to kill the kraken. The weird fairies of Atlantis Valley were trying to put the mega-monsters to sleep.
Hello? What good would that do?
A few minutes later, all three kraken floated in the water, belly-up and fast asleep.
A different fairy stood next to the railing, staring at the water.
I slipped out of the cabin and looked down into the sea.
Around the body of the baby kraken, the surface of the sea began churning. Huge vines of sea coreweed (that's a Sídhí plant) curled up and around the body of the beast.
Thunk!
Coreweed slithered across the deck. It was the largest specimen of coreweed I had ever seen. Four inches thick, it had bright green skin with blue scaly spots. I knew dried coreweed was sort of the equivalent of hemp from Earth, except it was extremely strong.
This was still wiggling and wet.
The fairy at the rail (who had to be an enchanter) glanced at the flopping end of coreweed. It slithered over the rail, under the boat, and popped-up on the opposite side. It wrapped around the boat several times.
The boat slowly moved south, towing the smallest of the kraken. Hours later, we slowed to a stop. It was in the middle of nowhere. The fairies threatened me with my life if I reported the exact location.
The enchanter fairy severed the coreweed, leaving three lengths on the deck.
Three of the fairies each grabbed a length of coreweed and slipped over the side. Taking a deep breath, they disappeared, pulling the baby kraken behind them.
I later learned there was a permanent portal several hundred feet down, and that was how the kraken appeared in Clan Valley to begin with.
The fairies pulled the baby kraken through the underwater portal, returning him to Atlantis Valley. Afterward the three fairies returned to the boat, and the captain steered the boat away from the portal.
We waited for nearly an hour before the kraken parents showed-up, rushing through the water at an unbelievable speed and shrieking their heads off.
Thankfully, they were more concerned with finding their baby. They dove under the water and didn't reappear.
Until next time,
Jodie

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Kraken & Jack the Ripper


Well, I had a hot tip that kraken were seen in the Gulf of Mexico! When I called Guardian Tremaine, my vampire contact in Clan Valley, he said 'no comment' and hung up on me.
The nerve of some people!
I'll hunt down the true story and tell you all about it.
Until then, a little gossip never hurt anyone.
Rumor has it that Lord MuskLeke is back to his old habits of torturing mundanes, killing them, and cutting out their organs.
Sound familiar? Well, if it doesn't, it should. He did the same thing in the Whitechapel district of London back in 1888. He's more famously known as Jack the Ripper.
The rumor hasn't been confirmed, but the mutilated bodies appeared eerily the same as those 1888 murders. This time MuskLeke is spreading out his killings, one in New York City, another in Los Angeles, and several in Australia.
Until next time,
Jodie

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Sasquatch Attack! part II

Clan Valley: Lake Eufaula, Oklahoma
Sasquatch Attack continued…
A quick catch up… Some friends and I, along with our beloved pets, were visiting Mordecai's Sasquatch Ranch for the weekend. To know more, read yesterday's post. J
Gorman, the Sasquatch, shrieked in fury as the water trough slammed down on top of his head. Water drenched his long fur. He looked like a nine-foot drowned rat with giant teeth and claws.
He threw a hissy fit, smashing the water trough to the ground. He stomped on it until it resembled a pancake. He took the pancake and threw it toward the visitors.
In Gorman's defense, I'm sure he was aiming at Chief and Pumpkin.
Gorman took a running leap at the electrified fence. The fence must not have a very high charge, because he clung to it with the tenacity of a blood sucking leech. Hair smoking, he clung to the electrified surface, shrieking at the top of his lungs.

Thankfully, Mordecai arrived before Gorman managed to climb any higher and shot him with a tranquilizer dart, knocking the Sasquatch out.
Mordecai politely suggested I either leave or move to another part of the ranch. He said, Sasquatch remember things. I snorted and said he worried too much. I certainly wasn't worried.
I mean really, Kerry, one of my best friends and her husband, Mick, are vampires. Even if Gorman managed to escape from his pen, they could stop Gorman.
:face palm:
Next time, I'll listen to the old vampire's advice. Please, don't tell Mordecai I'll listen to him. Like most vampires, his ego is already mammoth sized.
It was nearly 3:00 AM when I heard a soft scratching sound at my window. I knew it was three in the morning, because the red numbers glowing on my ceiling said so. I hate being woke-up by weird noises. It's usually a chirping cricket or a buzzing morag stuck in the window screen. That drives me nuts.
I stumbled out of bed and lifted the window, before looking out. Yes, I know, how dumb was that, but I never thought about. Honest, I didn't!
I came face to face with Gorman. His eyes glowed green and he shrieked at me. That dual tone scream that announces a Sasquatch is on the hunt.
Death looked me in the face and shrieked, sending shards of icy terror through my chest.
Oh yeah, I didn't know I could move that fast. I flew away from that window.
I scrambled backward, screeching at the top of my lungs. Chief's barking mingled with my blood curdling screams and Gorman's shrieks.
Gorman plowed through the flimsy screen, ignoring Chief and came straight at me.
Thank goodness for Kerry and Mick. They came running into my bedroom and attacked Gorman.
Two full grown - very angry - vampires were way more than Gorman planned on. He squealed like a stuck pig and dashed out the window. Actually, he took the entire window frame and part of the wall with him.
All is well that ends well. No one got hurt and Mordecai moved Gorman to his ranch in New Mexico. Believe it or not, Mordecai said we were still welcome at the ranch.
Until next time - Jodie B. Cooper
http://sidhinews.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Vampire in Dallas!

Dallas - Fort Worth Metro, Texas: Earth

A multi-car pileup in the Dallas - Fort Worth Metro (on Earth) resulted in numerous injuries and four fatalities.

Morgan Stantleberry, vampire, has lived in Texas for his entire life. He turned twenty-one in May. He's a die-hard Dallas Cowboy fan and works as a car sales man.

He might want to reconsider his career choice.

Earlier today, he rode with Matt DeLittle, a mundane who took a test drive. Against Morgan's suggestion, Matt took the little sports car up on one of the numerous expressways crisscrossing the area.

The actual pile-up was not Matt's fault, but since he was going nearly ninety miles an hour he couldn't stop in time. He hit the bed of a flatbed truck and went air born, flipping several times before landing in the opposite lane of traffic. A semi-truck hit the little sports car, completely crushing it. Unable to stop, the truck pushed it another hundred yards before stopping.

The accident killed Matt instantly.

Emergency personnel found Morgan unconscious and rushed him to the hospital.

Morgan, a Clan vampire, doesn't drink blood, except in a recreational sense. But after all is said and done, he is still a vampire.

When seriously injured a vampire's first reaction is to drink blood as it helps speed up the healing process. I'm sure you can see where I'm heading with this.

Morgan woke-up in the emergency room quite delirious. The young nurse drawing his blood never knew what hit her. He grabbed her wrist and chomped down. Yeah, that went over like a ton of bricks.

The nurse shrieked loud enough I'm surprised I didn't hear her all the way in Oklahoma.

A second nurse tried pulling Morgan off the first nurse. - Good luck detaching a blood hungry vampire! - When she couldn't budge him, she bashed him on the head with a bedpan. It went downhill from there.

Morgan raised his head, with his fangs still extended and hissed at the second nurse. Security stormed in the curtained room about the same time.

Morgan came to his senses soon enough, but not before people began screaming vampire. Security shot him twice.

He was too dazed to do more than mentally call for help.

His parents arrived and mentally froze everyone. They called in several friends, but soon realized they needed a lot more help.

Clan Guardians swarmed the hospital, mentally wiping the episode from every mundane mind. In this day and age, they also had to confiscate the security video and dozens of phones. Tracking down who sent images and to whom, took an entire squadron of guardians less than an hour to accomplish.

Since Morgan was so young a healer was brought in to speed-up Morgan's natural healing ability. With the extra blood and a healer's touch, Morgan walked out of the hospital on his own two feet.

The disaster ended on a happy note. Morgan found his lifeMate. She happened to be the mundane nurse he bit. Thankfully, she wasn't seriously injured.

Until next time - Jodie B. Cooper

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Gnomes & Stink Bombs

Clan Valley

Warning! If you have a weak stomach stop reading right now.

Clan Valley High School has canceled summer school.

I know, it sounds insane. Right? Half the summer semester is already over with so canceling summer school seemed very odd to me. I called around and found out the true reason.

With the influx of gnomes into Clan Valley the school board insisted all gnomes under the age of eighteen must attend school. For those of you who don't know, Clan Valley is primarily a vampire valley. The transition has not been easy for gnomes or vampires.

Well, the gnomes – generally speaking they are three-feet tall with wrinkly skin like a Shar Pei and have brilliant red fuzzy hair that's about an inch long – refused to comply with the mandate.

Everyone knows gnomes are notorious pranksters so their response shouldn't have surprised anyone.

Gnomes taped the official mandate to the school doors, marked 'no' across the paper in bold red ink, and then flushed a fairy made stink bomb down every commode on school property.

Mundanes have no clue how bad a fairy made stink bomb smells.

Honestly, fairies – especially those from the artist caste – can create just about anything by utilizing their talent to manipulate synth energy, including changing normal attributes of certain objects. Today, the object in question was super glue. What they did was 'scientifically' impossible, but you must remember we are talking about fairies. They tend to warp scientific theory out of shape until it's unrecognizable.

The stink bombs were comprised of super glue, cow manure, rabbit manure, and skrivett pus. (A skrivett is a pus covered rodent.) The compressed bomb went down the pipes and exploded, spreading chunks of manure through-out the entire sewage system. No, it did not dissolve.

When the synth enhanced super glue touched the interior plastic wall of the pipes, it activated and expanded, sticking cow manure and pebble sized rabbit pellets throughout the entire sewer system. The skrivett pus, which smells like raw sewage in its natural state went everywhere, including the ceiling of the bathrooms.

I'm sure you can imagine, Principle Tinklebunn blew a gasket.

Literally, she shrieked until all the windows in the entire school and surrounding community shattered. Need I mention she is a fairy of the warrior caste? To be very specific she is a siren.

Even with so much damage, with the proper fairy made solvent, it shouldn't take the remainder of the summer to clean up the mess.

Well, you wouldn't think so, but the only one who can create a counter chemical to destroy the super glue is Samuel Nippers, the fairy who created the stink bombs. He is a Master Class within his caste and has refused to create a solvent that would disolve the super glue.

I've heard it without the solvent it will take weeks to dislodge the crap from the sewer system, clean the skrivett pus off the walls, and replace all of the windows.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Sasquatch Theft & Dragon Guardian Interview

Clan Valley guardians are investigating the disappearance of a sasquatch (aka Big Foot) from Mordecai's Sasquatch Ranch on the western edge of Lake Eufaula in the Eastern part of Oklahoma.

Clan guardians believe there is foul play involved, but the owner of the ranch is not a subject in the ongoing investigation. The animal arrived the same day it disappeared and hadn't been paid for. Mordecai Bunn said his insurance wouldn't cover the disappearance of the animal.

As a side note, I wanted to mention I've visited the ranch, which has cabins and jet skis for rent. The ranch is a fun family destination. It's also world famous for it sasquatch breeding program, which provides zoos and big game hunters with quality Sasquatch.

Onward to the promised interview with a Dragon Guardian!

I transcribed the promised conversation I had with dragon guardian Alexander concerning the terrorist organization Khr'Vurr, which is based in Dragon Valley.

I'll skip the pleasantries and get to the good stuff...

Jodie: Is it true the Khr'Vurr, a notoriously 'dragon only' organization is actively recruiting outside of Dragon Valley?

Alexander: No comment.

Jodie: You're a guardian. It's your duty to protect. So shouldn't you be willing to warn people? What if they start terrorizing the other valleys? People need information.

Alexander: Jodie, this isn't a game. You need to keep your nose out of it.

Jodie: Yes, I know it isn't a game. That's my point! Wouldn't it be better to warn people?

Alexander: :sighs: We believe the Khr'Vurr is actively seeking new recruits.

Jodie: Are they targeting any specific valley? You know like only valleys in the Dhark Empire?

Alexander: Off the record?

Jodie: Yes, of course! (he knew I'd tell... I always do.)

Alexander: The Khr'Vurr have united with several Dhark Valley Lords, extending their network into a dozen different valleys. This is a very dangerous time for Sídhí and Mundanes. We're concerned the silent war they've started may soon explode into something a lot worse.

Jodie: You mean like the bomb exploding in the Royal Valley? I've heard it was targeting Prince Jacoby, because he refused to cooperate with the Khr'Vurr.

:pause:  Then he hissed at me!

Alexander: Who told you that?

Jodie: Anonymous tip. I've been going through records. Did you know in the last three months car bombs and kidnappings have increased by four hundred percent?

:low, deep growl:  Dragons, even when they are in human form, growl really well. He made the hair stand up on my head.

Jodie: And I've heard the Dragon Council is so desperate to find the Khr'Vurr ring leaders they have threatened other valleys.

:silence:

Jodie: Well, is it true? Can Dragon Council shut down all the gateways leading to Earth? Will they?

Alexander: Jodie, you get one warning. This is it. Stay out of Khr'Vurr business. And more importantly stay out of council business. Do not go spreading false rumors.

Jodie: Now, wait a minute...

Alexander: No, you're sticking your nose into things that's going to get you killed. The Khr'Vurr are big league. Stay. Out. Of. It.

Jodie: I'm a reporter. It's my duty...

:he cuts me off, the nerve!:

Alexander: No, you're a nosy busy body.

:Slams phone down in my ear:

Well! That was rude!

Honestly, anyone who knows me understands my need for searching out the true story. No matter the danger to my own well being. Of course, someone like Alexander calls it nosy behavior, but I think everyone understands my need to give them the true story.

Never worry, I'll keep digging!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Escaped Werewolves Captured

Clan Valley: Fayetteville, Arkansas

The pair of werewolves, which escaped from Hitchcock Zoo (Eureka Springs, AR) last week were recaptured today. After a merry chase following a trail of dead livestock it ended this morning when the werewolves (Janie Lee & Herbert) broke into a chicken barn in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Chicken barn owner, Clyde Smitherton, reported four hundred dead chickens and over five thousand dollars worth of damage to his state-the-art pens and feeding equipment. Clyde said officials from the zoo refused to speak with him.

I contacted the zoo director, Myrtle Tittlebottom, this morning.

~ Phone conversation with Myrtle ~

Jodie: Good morning, Mrs. Tittlebottom.

Myrtle: If this is a reporter, I'm hanging up.

Jodie: Mrs. Tittlebottom, my readers want to know if Hitchcock zoo is going to compensate Clyde for his dead chickens, damage to his property, and lost revenue.

Myrtle: None of your business.

Jodie: What about all the livestock the werewolves killed this week? There have been reports of mutilated and dead carcasses across northeastern Arkansas.

Myrtle: Stupid %$#^ A$$ reporters!

:phone slams down in my ear: