Showing posts with label escape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label escape. Show all posts

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Stolen Sasquatch Recovered! part II

Continued

Norman, the Sasquatch aka Big Foot, has been captured near the small town of Stigler, Oklahoma (in the mundane world.)

Master Healer Margaret Mai Lynn officially reported no serious injuries, stating she stabilized a broken leg. I found out later, she broke Sídhí law by completely healing a ruptured artery in the mundane rancher when he tried calling for help. If she hadn't healed him, he would've died.

For all you mundanes out there, be very wary of healers. Never, not unless you are seconds from dying, ask a healer to help you. Trust me you'll probably end up dead. When it comes to a mundane, a healer is more dangerous than a dhark vampire.

You see, healers can heal Sídhí.

Vampire, dragon, shapeshifter, it doesn't matter which Sídhí race as long as a person has synth crystal in their blood a healer can pull energy from herself and the injured person. This allows the healer enough energy to heal a Sídhí, even if the Sídhí is near death.

Unfortunately, when a healer attempts to heal a mundane the person's very life essence is sucked out. Sucking a person's essence is very addictive. That's why most valleys have banned healers from visiting Earth, a ruthless practice, but effective.

On a happy note, the mundane rancher is alive. He fell into a coma due to his life's essence nearly getting sucked dry, but Healer Margaret swears he'll wake-up in a month or two.

Oh dear! I've gone off on one of my tangents, haven't I? On to the events of Friday night, which lead to Norman's capture!

I parked my ancient Chevy truck next to the brick ranch house in the nick of time.

Clan Guardian Alexander stood on the porch, berating Healer Serena for nearly killing Mark. Several Clan Guardians noticed me and waved, but I steered clear of Alexander. He would've stopped me from interviewing the victims.

I found Mark's wife and three teenage girls sitting in the living room. Each of them stared blankly at the ceiling, mouths dropped open.

I feared the guardians had already wiped the true memories from their minds and mentally ordered them to remain silent. Thankfully, that didn't happen.

Guardian Tremaine, a really sweet vampire with dark auburn hair and a gorgeous – repeat all rippling muscles, no fat – body, allowed me to interview the women.

The youngest daughter, Sheila, provided the best recount of the evening. The mother wouldn't quit sobbing and the other two girls couldn't take their eyes off Tremaine to answer my questions.

Anyway, Sheila said they heard a horrible noise about ten o'clock.

Mark grabbed his gun, ordering his wife to lock the door behind him. He opened the front door. Shouted (Sheila said, he sounded scared) and rapidly fired his gun. Slammed the door shut. All the while, shouting for everyone to run to the cellar. That's what they call storm shelters.

They ran through the house toward the kitchen. Sheila heard the front door, a solid oak monstrosity, being ripped off its hinges.

Attached to the house, the storm shelter opened into the laundry room. They piled in the cement room and bolted the steel door shut.

Mark was a smart man. Well, mostly. On their dash through the kitchen, he kicked the trash can over, spilling its contents. They had spent the night before cutting and packing a deer he shot. Yes, he killed it out of season, but that's beside the point.

The blood kept the Sasquatch occupied.

If Mark had stayed in the storm shelter, everything would've worked out fine. He didn't. He left to call for help and the Sasquatch chased him up a tree.

Unfortunately, all Sasquatch have very long claws and are very good tree climbers.

Norman slashed Mark's thigh, puncturing a major artery.

Clan guardians showed up before Norman pulled Mark out of the tree, shooting Norman with a tranquilizer dart.

Norman is now peacefully sleeping off the tranq dart. For those of you who wish to meet Norman, his new home is a twenty acre enclosure at Mordecai's Sasquatch Ranch.

Mordecai's has daily tours. I encourage families or individuals who want a longer adventure to purchase one of their many tour packages, which (depending on the package you pick) include a cabin, jet skis, trail rides, and a dozen other wonderful extras. Tell them Jodie sent you!

On a final note, Clan guardians gave the mundane family and Haskell County emergency workers vague memories of a rabid black bear, not a very good cover story but it worked.

Until next time ~ Jodie B. Cooper

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Stolen Sasquatch Recovered!

Stigler, Oklahoma: Earth

Miss Clara Burnstien, who has lived in the mundane world for the last one hundred and twenty-three years, faithfully listens to the local police scanner. Last night, at 11:15, an unusual report sent Haskell County deputies to Mark Hawk's ranch.

Clan guardians confiscated the recorded message from Haskell County, but I managed to get a copy.

Operator: Haskell County...

Mark: You've got to help us!

Operator: Is this an emergency?

Mark: Yes! A monster broke into the house!

Operator: Please, stay calm. Is the assailant still there?

Mark: It's not a person!

:A high shrieking scream with dual tones erupts in the background:

Operator: Oh my God! What was that?

Mark: The monster! Big Foot!

:pause:

Mark: We need help! I shot the damn thing with a 9mm. I hit it three times and didn't kill it!

Operator: Tying up this phone line with a half-cocked prank...

Mark: Hell and damnation! My family is gonna die cause you won't get off your high horse and send me help! You want a good enough reason to send a deputy? Fine! I'm gonna kill my wife and three kids!

Operator: You're nuts! I'll send a car and I'll testify at your trial, you crazy S.O.B.

:Phone slams down:

Well, that was interesting. I can't say I blame the poor operator, Mark did sound deranged.

…continued until tomorrow.

Jodie B. Cooper




Sunday, July 17, 2011

Escaped Werewolves Captured

Clan Valley: Fayetteville, Arkansas

The pair of werewolves, which escaped from Hitchcock Zoo (Eureka Springs, AR) last week were recaptured today. After a merry chase following a trail of dead livestock it ended this morning when the werewolves (Janie Lee & Herbert) broke into a chicken barn in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Chicken barn owner, Clyde Smitherton, reported four hundred dead chickens and over five thousand dollars worth of damage to his state-the-art pens and feeding equipment. Clyde said officials from the zoo refused to speak with him.

I contacted the zoo director, Myrtle Tittlebottom, this morning.

~ Phone conversation with Myrtle ~

Jodie: Good morning, Mrs. Tittlebottom.

Myrtle: If this is a reporter, I'm hanging up.

Jodie: Mrs. Tittlebottom, my readers want to know if Hitchcock zoo is going to compensate Clyde for his dead chickens, damage to his property, and lost revenue.

Myrtle: None of your business.

Jodie: What about all the livestock the werewolves killed this week? There have been reports of mutilated and dead carcasses across northeastern Arkansas.

Myrtle: Stupid %$#^ A$$ reporters!

:phone slams down in my ear: