Showing posts with label gnomes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gnomes. Show all posts

Friday, November 16, 2012

Gnome, Troll, & Dragon: Deleted Scene


If you have not read Vampire's Forbidden Territory, the following deleted scene will contain spoilers!
Deleted scene has not been edited.
Change of Plans
“Well?” Clarabelle demanded of the wrinkly-faced gnome standing several feet away.
His pasty colored skin lost even more color as Clarabelle lowered her large head within biting distance of him. His pale yellow eyes widened. Showing a hint of intelligence, he remained crouched next to the squirming troll.
She felt surprise ripple through her big body when the little man didn’t run. At three feet tall, the gnome would be less than a pre-meal snack for her, not that she ate gnomes. Well, only a few and that was years earlier. The unfortunate incident happened after one of the silly creatures cut her beautiful hair too short.
The big troll howled, cutting off her train of thought.
Clarabelle’s foot pressed a little harder, squishing the flopping dark red body under her giant claws. The troll bellowed in fury. Its long yellow teeth gnawed on one of her claws in a wasted attempt to free itself. The big male’s grunts and howls seemed to be a barbarian language, but she knew the noise was only the animal’s attempt to frighten her away.
Trolls, like werewolves or khatts, were very smart animals. If trained properly they became useful tools, but nothing more.
Under Clarabelle’s fierce glare, the troll’s handler hunched his scrawny shoulders. “I tries to teach ‘em Mistress, but I’s don’t always makes ‘em understand. I really tries!” the little gnome squalled under her fierce glare.
 “It’s nots my fault that them mites attacked too soon. I swears it!” the stinky little gnome continued his rambling excuses as Clarabelle rearranged her plans.
Clarabelle didn’t want excuses. She wanted the Chi’Kehra’s lifeMate alive and in shackles before the night was over. Having the Chi’Kehra as her very own trained lapdog would not only guarantee success against the dragon council, but the girl was critical to Clarabelle’s ultimate goal of returning Dragon Valley to the Sídhí home world.
“You will hunt them down. I want the boy captured, not dead. Do you hear me? You will bring him to me alive. He won’t be any good to me dead. He dies and you and every miserable gnome within Dragon Valley will die by my dragonfire.”
The little yellow eyed man dropped to his knees, his loud keening wail of terror pleased her.

Vampire's Forbidden Territory is available at Amazon / Amazon UK / Barnes & Noble /Smashwords


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Gnome's Revenge!

Ozark Valley: Branson, Missouri

The school year is about to start! Of course, a trip to the mall is an absolute must as teens search for that perfect outfit and accessories.

Like my best friend Kerry, parents are scrambling with last minute emergencies. I think Kerry does a grand job. She hands her daughter a visa debit card with a certain amount on it then takes Angela and her friends to the mall of the girl's choice.

Let me back up, before I tell you Angela's grand adventure, um catastrophe. - Yes, for a sixteen year old, it was a horrifying catastrophe! - You need a smidgen of background.

Angela is a vampire. She doesn’t act it, but she is gorgeous with hip-length white-blond hair and a body any movie star would kill for. She loves people. Her dark blue eyes literally sparkle when she meets a new person. As a side note, she handled the Sasquatch attack over last weekend tremendously well, much better than I did.

Anyway, she has never met a person she didn't like. She trusts everyone and lives life in a very carefree way. She'll try anything once. Her attitude is jump first, look afterwards because if you look first, you might not jump.

Poor girl might re-think jumping before looking next time.

Kerry took Angela and three of her friends to Oakland Mall in Branson, Missouri within Ozark Valley. Ozark Valley is predominately an elvish valley. The remaining twenty-five percent of the population is a mixed potpourri with vampires, dragons, fairies, and gnomes.

Oakland Mall is humongous. I mean it puts The Mall of America in the mundane world to shame. Three levels below ground and four upper levels above ground sprawl across an entire square mile. It has four motels, hundreds of restaurants and kiosks, an inside carnival, a water park that has tube rides going down the length of the mall and back, three movie theatres, a paint ball range, wyvern rides on the roof, putt-putt golf, half dozen arcades, a gateway terminal connecting dozens of valleys, and an uncountable number of retail outlets.

A family could spend their entire vacation at Oakland. The mall is a neutral spot where people from every valley are welcome to visit, no matter their race or political affiliation, without fear of attack. The mall guards deal with any attack swiftly and with severe penalties, including missing body parts, a silver collar, and hung by culprit's ankles in the courtyard.

Back to the story!

Angela's first mistake was visiting Maurice's Fairy Emporium.

Maurice's is a chain of fairy owned retail shops that carry a wide variety of beauty products, anything and everything imaginable is available. Do you want to have natural blue blushing cheeks, pink eyelashes, or glow-in-the-dark skin? Visit Maurice's and you'll find a fairy made product that will do exactly what you want.

Wait! That 'wait' is a major warning. Please, be sure to read the fine print on every single container even if they look identical.

Angela walked into Maurice's, exclaiming it was an awesome store. Never one to mix words, she voiced her disappointment when the clerk was a gnome and not a fairy like all the T.V. ads showed.

Well, that went over like a ton of bricks.

She told the shop clerk, a wrinkly faced gnome, she wanted to dye her hair to match the school colors. She's the newest member of the cheerleading team and wanted to make a great impression. Her words, not mine.

However, I'm sure she meant a great impression on the male half of the school body.

Her idea was actually great. She wanted a dye that she could wash in and then rinse out after each game. Too bad, she made the little gnome mad at her.

After she bought the dye, Angela and her cohorts went straight to the bathroom. The silver dye was a foam formula that rubbed into dry hair. The additional blue streaks were to be combed into the hair within five minutes of applying the base color.

Never trust a gnome that you've made angry. They are vindictive little people with a heart of mischief, a very dangerous combination.

The fine print on the bottle stated that the dry foam, unlike the liquid that had to be rinsed, was not to be used on a vampire.

They didn't read the instructions, covering Angela's hair in dry foam and rubbing it in.

At first, her scalp tingled.

Her friends added an inch-wide blue streak that curled around her face.

The tingling sensation began to itch.

Her hair turned silver, the streak of vivid blue intensified the color of her eyes. Looking in the mirror, she tentatively touched her hair in awe.

She grinned, eagerly combing her fingers through the silky strands. A huge chunk of hair came out! Paralyzed, she watched as the shiny silver strands slid through her fingers and floated to the floor.

Angela shrieked louder than a Sasquatch on a hunt.

Her friends jumped back as if she was contagious and stared in mounting horror.

Angela smoothed her hands over her head as if trying to keep it in place. Swaths of hair fell out. Suddenly, all at once, her remaining hair fell out. She stood, jaw dropped staring at her utterly baldhead in the mirror.

By the time her mom arrived, the other girls had gone after the gnome leaving Angela hiding in a bathroom stall. The gnome had disappeared without a trace. 

Until next time - Jodie B. Cooper




Sunday, August 7, 2011

Sídhí History IV

Sídhí: The home world

I'll apologize right now Sídhí History IV is extremely boring. This will be the final part of the Sídhí History series unless I'm requested to write more.

It took years, but eventually the synth crystal spread out like veins under the crust of the land, creating springs and underground streams. Each Spring of Crystal was unique; it absorbed characteristics from its surrounding environment.

I've seen copies of the Last Scientist's diary or 'scientific journal.' He never realized the synth crystal would absorb the elements surrounding it, changing each Crystal Spring in the tiniest way. He didn't know these tiny changes would create dozens of different races once people became infected with synth crystal.

Essentially, every Crystal Spring Changed the people within a specific geographic location creating a wide variety of synth enhanced races across the face of Sídhí.

The Elfhiem Empire - The eyes of the elves changed, not in shape, but in color. The iris grew until nearly no white showed and the pupil became larger. Their ears grew more pointed and a bit taller, becoming very sensitive to physical touch. An elf is marginally faster than most other races.

The Northern VamPyre - The vampires became walking weapons with fingernails that extended into bear-like claws. The slightly pointed canine teeth became retractable fangs. They now had the ability to suck blood. Vampires who lived primarily on blood had solid blood red eyes in direct sunshine. Those who ate solid foods had solid black eyes in direct sun.

The bite of a vampire has three outcomes. First, a simple bite that sucked blood from the victim. Second, a bite that injected venom into the victim and Changed that person into a vampire. Third, a bite between mates that injected a sexual stimulant into the mate's bloodstream.

The Shifting Highlands - The amber eyes of a shifter changed into various colors depending on the sub-race. The eyes of a shifter either glow or change color when emotions run high. Shifters received the ability to change their shape into a specific animal, growing stronger as they aged. Dragon, khatts, and werewolves are among the known sub-races.

The Atlantis Continent - The people of Atlantis had the widest changes and were not uniform at all. Called Fairy as a race, they have five castes: Royal, Warrior, Merchant, Artist, and Common. Among those castes are numerous sub-races including nymphs, sirens, & pixies.

Gnome Grotto - The eyes of a gnome became a uniform pale yellow. They have short, fuzzy red hair. The tallest among them are no taller than four feet. They are very slender with wrinkly faces, like a Shar Pei puppy.

The people of Sídhí have seven senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, touch, telepathy, and instinct. The strength of each sense varies widely between the races.
Of course, there are also many anomalies, including teleportation. Several races can teleport including vampires and dragons.

This is not a complete listing of races or abilities that would be impossible for a simple mundane like myself to record.

Until next time - Jodie B. Cooper

http://sidhinews.blogspot.com/


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Gnomes & Stink Bombs

Clan Valley

Warning! If you have a weak stomach stop reading right now.

Clan Valley High School has canceled summer school.

I know, it sounds insane. Right? Half the summer semester is already over with so canceling summer school seemed very odd to me. I called around and found out the true reason.

With the influx of gnomes into Clan Valley the school board insisted all gnomes under the age of eighteen must attend school. For those of you who don't know, Clan Valley is primarily a vampire valley. The transition has not been easy for gnomes or vampires.

Well, the gnomes – generally speaking they are three-feet tall with wrinkly skin like a Shar Pei and have brilliant red fuzzy hair that's about an inch long – refused to comply with the mandate.

Everyone knows gnomes are notorious pranksters so their response shouldn't have surprised anyone.

Gnomes taped the official mandate to the school doors, marked 'no' across the paper in bold red ink, and then flushed a fairy made stink bomb down every commode on school property.

Mundanes have no clue how bad a fairy made stink bomb smells.

Honestly, fairies – especially those from the artist caste – can create just about anything by utilizing their talent to manipulate synth energy, including changing normal attributes of certain objects. Today, the object in question was super glue. What they did was 'scientifically' impossible, but you must remember we are talking about fairies. They tend to warp scientific theory out of shape until it's unrecognizable.

The stink bombs were comprised of super glue, cow manure, rabbit manure, and skrivett pus. (A skrivett is a pus covered rodent.) The compressed bomb went down the pipes and exploded, spreading chunks of manure through-out the entire sewage system. No, it did not dissolve.

When the synth enhanced super glue touched the interior plastic wall of the pipes, it activated and expanded, sticking cow manure and pebble sized rabbit pellets throughout the entire sewer system. The skrivett pus, which smells like raw sewage in its natural state went everywhere, including the ceiling of the bathrooms.

I'm sure you can imagine, Principle Tinklebunn blew a gasket.

Literally, she shrieked until all the windows in the entire school and surrounding community shattered. Need I mention she is a fairy of the warrior caste? To be very specific she is a siren.

Even with so much damage, with the proper fairy made solvent, it shouldn't take the remainder of the summer to clean up the mess.

Well, you wouldn't think so, but the only one who can create a counter chemical to destroy the super glue is Samuel Nippers, the fairy who created the stink bombs. He is a Master Class within his caste and has refused to create a solvent that would disolve the super glue.

I've heard it without the solvent it will take weeks to dislodge the crap from the sewer system, clean the skrivett pus off the walls, and replace all of the windows.