Saturday, July 23, 2011

Stolen Sasquatch Recovered!

Stigler, Oklahoma: Earth

Miss Clara Burnstien, who has lived in the mundane world for the last one hundred and twenty-three years, faithfully listens to the local police scanner. Last night, at 11:15, an unusual report sent Haskell County deputies to Mark Hawk's ranch.

Clan guardians confiscated the recorded message from Haskell County, but I managed to get a copy.

Operator: Haskell County...

Mark: You've got to help us!

Operator: Is this an emergency?

Mark: Yes! A monster broke into the house!

Operator: Please, stay calm. Is the assailant still there?

Mark: It's not a person!

:A high shrieking scream with dual tones erupts in the background:

Operator: Oh my God! What was that?

Mark: The monster! Big Foot!

:pause:

Mark: We need help! I shot the damn thing with a 9mm. I hit it three times and didn't kill it!

Operator: Tying up this phone line with a half-cocked prank...

Mark: Hell and damnation! My family is gonna die cause you won't get off your high horse and send me help! You want a good enough reason to send a deputy? Fine! I'm gonna kill my wife and three kids!

Operator: You're nuts! I'll send a car and I'll testify at your trial, you crazy S.O.B.

:Phone slams down:

Well, that was interesting. I can't say I blame the poor operator, Mark did sound deranged.

…continued until tomorrow.

Jodie B. Cooper




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