Miss Clara Burnstien, who has lived in the mundane world for the last one hundred and twenty-three years, faithfully listens to the local police scanner. Last night, at 11:15, an unusual report sent Haskell County deputies to Mark Hawk's ranch.
Clan guardians confiscated the recorded message from Haskell County, but I managed to get a copy.
Operator: Haskell County...
Mark: You've got to help us!
Operator: Is this an emergency?
Mark: Yes! A monster broke into the house!
Operator: Please, stay calm. Is the assailant still there?
Mark: It's not a person!
:A high shrieking scream with dual tones erupts in the background:
Operator: Oh my God! What was that?
Mark: The monster! Big Foot!
Mark: We need help! I shot the damn thing with a 9mm. I hit it three times and didn't kill it!
Operator: Tying up this phone line with a half-cocked prank...
Mark: Hell and damnation! My family is gonna die cause you won't get off your high horse and send me help! You want a good enough reason to send a deputy? Fine! I'm gonna kill my wife and three kids!
Operator: You're nuts! I'll send a car and I'll testify at your trial, you crazy S.O.B.
:Phone slams down:
Well, that was interesting. I can't say I blame the poor operator, Mark did sound deranged.
…continued until tomorrow.
Jodie B. Cooper